


Will you stay?

by Perseia



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 09:07:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perseia/pseuds/Perseia
Summary: Henry feels terrible about what he'd done to Dmitri, from bringing him in to be a spy and then leaving him in the Russian's hand.Then he gets him back. And he's determined to help him in anyway that he can.





	Will you stay?

Everything has gone terribly wrong, Henry thinks. He never meant any of this to happen, and he is way, way over his head. He loves teaching, and he should’ve just stuck with that. Should’ve told the other part of him to shut up, should’ve resisted NSA, should’ve been content teaching at the War College and leave the secrecy and national security issues to his wife and CIA and every other government agencies he can think of.

But no. He took the job, and now, there’s blood on his hands. It’s not his fault in the same way that it’s somehow every bit his fault, and it’s so, so different from his fighter pilot days because he knows the victim. 

He thinks about all the time he promised Dmitri his protection, and is guilt wrecked with how terribly he has failed him. There’s a slow rising dread, pushing him under every so often. It’s a miracle he has his shit together in class, because everytime he sees the empty seats of his former Russian students, he’s reminded of how he failed them. How he betrayed Dmitri.

It was the right thing to do, logically. Bringing Dmitri in had given them invaluable information that gave them a huge win, and this win was important in preventing further loss of lives. And he can’t really blame Elizabeth and Conrad for doing what they did, because they needed to make that deal with Maria Ostrov. It’s the question of one life verses multiple, and as much as giving him over is unethical, he can’t say that not giving him over would have been ethical either.

But what Elizabeth and others don’t get is that there really wasn’t a choice for Dmitri. Dmitri loves Russia, and he only agreed to spy for his sister. He was so deathly afraid, and no one else but Henry heard his raw fear. He saw his brilliant student reduced to fear and panic, and it sickened him that Dmitri was forced to hold onto an empty promise for the sake of survival. The only thing that kept him going besides his sister was the repeated promise of safety from from him, a guy he couldn’t even trust. He knew Dmitri didn’t hold him in the same regard as when he was just a professor. He can’t forget that look of betrayal and indignance when he first asked him to be a spy. And now, he’s a piece of shit bastard who couldn’t keep that one promise to him. 

 

….

Dmitri’s alive, and Henry thinks it’s a small miracle. It’s heartbreaking when the kid leans against him, and he can’t imagine what the last months have been like for him. 

He wants to help him in any way he can, but he doesn’t know how.

….

 

It’s hot in Arizona, but somehow one thing leads to another and now he has a lapful of Dmitri - Alexander now - snuggling into him. He thinks this is wrong, but doesn’t find it in him to push him away. He doesn’t want to. So he strokes Dmitri’s hair and holds him, unsure of who this odd interaction is supposed to reassure. 

“Professor,” Dmitri starts. “Will you stay? For tonight?”

“Here?” He asks, feeling the low thudding of his heart.

“Yes. I miss having someone that knows me around,” Dmitri says, wrenching himself out of Henry’s grasp. “I hate this imitation of a life. Fixing goddamn tvs for some old women. I was a fucking captain in the Russian military - now? Here, I am nothing.” 

He sounds angry, aggressive, and frustrated - but Henry hears what he’s saying. He understands the despair and frustration. He can see that Dmitri’s so fed up with this life that he hardly cares if he fucks up his life, and his willing to toe the line: The possibility of Russians finding him.

“Dmitri. Dmitri, come here. I’ll stay.”

He says that with conviction and more promise than even he himself knows. But he needs to fix things. He’ll do something to make things better for him.


End file.
